


What The Hell Have You Done To Me!?!

by DittyWrites



Series: Scarecrow/Riddler Shenanigans [4]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, DCU, DCU (Animated), DCU (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Denial, Just a little bit of fun and the first actual AU i have made an attempt at, M/M, Snark, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, What a pair of fannies, soulmate!AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-26
Updated: 2015-07-26
Packaged: 2018-04-11 08:03:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4427696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DittyWrites/pseuds/DittyWrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"And for the second time that day, Jonathan Crane felt himself go light-headed. There was no point in trying to deny it now. Edward Nygma was his soulmate. Worse than that, it seemed he was cursed to carry the words 'Riddle me this' in bright green lettering on his body, more specifically his ass, until the day he died. Not even attempting to hide his shock, Jon stared open-mouthed at the mark for several moments."</p>
            </blockquote>





	What The Hell Have You Done To Me!?!

**Author's Note:**

> Soulmate!AU in which the first sentence your soulmate says to you is inscribed on your body until you die.
> 
> This is just a quick (and hopefully funny) idea i had and wanted to write up. I might do more with it in the near future but i have no immediate plans.

Jonathan was certain he was the last person to meet this latest addition to the Gotham rogues gallery.

The rumour mill had been ablaze with the talks of this 'Riddler' and Jonathan had seen reports of his various crimes all over the news outlets but had yet to catch sight of the man himself.

Edward Nygma was his name and even Jervis had met him. Jervis had spent the entire conversation with Jonathan referring to the new arrival as 'doormouse' which made Jonathan insanely curious as to how a newbie could have worked their way into Jervis' inner-circle of characters so quickly.

In order to organise this meeting he had been forced to ask Selina to arrange it since she was apparently on good terms with the mysterious man already. So here he was, standing in the middle of an old warehouse on the outskirts of the Gotham docks watching the front door and waiting patiently for the other party to arrive.

“Riddle me this!” An obnoxious voice called out loudly from behind Jonathan, forcing him to spin around quickly in surprised. It seemed the man had chosen to use one of the more hidden side-doors rather than the main entrance. Before he had even located the source of the noise, the voice rang out again. “I make you weak at the worst of times. I make your hands sweat and your heart grow cold. I visit the weak but seldom the bold. What am I?”

Emerging from the darkness, the owner of the obnoxious voice was now fully visible.

“Mr Nygma.” Jonathan inclined his head towards the new arrival as an introduction. “And I believe the answer you are looking for is 'fear'.”

Jonathan paused to get his first good look at Edward Nygma.

Tall with an average-build which leaned more towards the thin side of things and wearing an emerald green three piece suit which was finished with a bowler hat and small golden cane in the shape of a question mark.

Quite the sight.

His quick assessment was cut short by a searing heat across the left of his lower back which caused him to gasp.

Flinching off the wall he was leaning on, he spun around to check for the source of the burning pain. Expecting to find a radiator or exposed pipe, he was stumped as he realised that the wall itself was bare.

Glancing at Edward he was surprised to see the younger man bent over slightly as he clutched his hip in obvious pain.

Ignoring Jonathan entirely, Edward opened his suit jacket and freed his black shirt, which had been neatly tucked in, before loosening his belt slightly so he could have a look at the apparently-injured area.

Jonathan busied himself by glancing around the empty warehouse until he heard the most unnatural strangled noise escaping from the green-clad man. Directing his attention back to him, he was met with the sight of Edward attempting to vigorously rub something off his hip with the heel of his hand.

“Is something the matter Edward?” He drawled lazily, a little irritated at being left uninformed.

“YOU TELL ME!?!” The younger man exploded as he marched closer to Jonathan, stopping a few feet away. “WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE TO ME?”

Now confused, Jonathan took a step closer and inspected the small patch of flesh he was being shown.

There, on Edwards' hipbone were the words 'Mr Nygma' in a dark brown scrawl.

For the first time in decades, Jonathan felt himself become a little light-headed.

He knew what that meant.

He had given up hope of ever finding his soulmate years previously, believing himself unable to ever love or be loved in return. For his entire life he had been used and abused by those around him and his vague hopes that there was someone destined for him had been irrevocably destroyed.

And yet, there his words were on the younger man in black and white...so to speak.

Realising that there was only one way to be certain, he glanced around the room again and spotted an old office which he quickly sprinted towards. Searching through the various drawers he found what he was looking for in a small, handheld mirror which he quickly cleaned up with a small piece of old cloth.

Holding it behind him, he adjusted his costume at the back so he could get a look at the area which had heated up suspiciously earlier.

And for the second time that day, Jonathan Crane felt himself go light-headed.

There was no point in trying to deny it now.

Edward Nygma was his soulmate.

Worse than that, it seemed he was cursed to carry the words 'Riddle me this' in bright green lettering on his body, more specifically his ass, until the day he died.

Not even attempting to hide his shock, Jon stared open-mouthed at the mark for several moments.

“Umm...Jonathan?” Edward enquired as he watched the thin man who appeared to be completely frozen. “Dr Crane?” He flinched as Jonathan unexpectedly moved suddenly and launched the small mirror into the nearby wall, shattering it into small pieces with a resounding crack.

Whirling around to face Edward, Jonathan growled out dangerously.

“I will not walk about with the words 'Riddle me this' permanently marked into my skin until the day I die. I will burn it off myself if I need to. Jesus, Edward! Do you insist on entering every room with those words? What happened to classic introductions?”

“'WHAT ABOUT ME?” Edward screeched indignantly. “AT LEAST YOU GET AN ICONIC PHRASE! I'M STUCK WITH 'MR NYGMA' FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE! Some people get poetry, some people get compliments and what do I get? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. It's mundane! It's common! It's boring and if there's one thing I hate it's 'boring'. CHRIST 'NYGMA' ISN'T EVEN MY REAL NAME!”

Jonathan could see him getting worked up and decided to remain silent until the mini-tantrum had passed.

 _Great,_ he thought, _apparently my soulmate is a fully grown man who takes tantrums._

Eventually Edward settled down and he started to nimbly spin his cane between his long fingers. “So what do we do now? To be totally honest I was certain I would never find an equal in this world and i have no idea how to approach this situation.”

“I have no idea.” Jonathan answered and as much as he tried to keep his voice emotion-free he could hear the notes of nervousness in it himself.

An uncomfortable silence fell as Jonathan continued to stare at Edward.

He was an attractive man, that much was undeniable. His intelligent eyes, a bright shade of blue, were constantly alert to the situation around him. That coupled with the strong jaw, nice figure and reddish hair which was peeking out from under the green bowler hat atop his head made him quite the handsome individual and Jonathan felt a sudden rush of all the old insecurities which had plagued him from childhood.

He knew how it worked, as soon as someone found their soulmate they began to feel inexplicable drawn towards the other person and he wondered if that was already influencing his attitude. It could be overcome with sheer willpower but the effects were usually quite unpleasant and it was often compared to moderate withdrawal symptoms if left for too long.

Knowing that he was being evaluated, Edward decided to even the playing field.

“So you are my soulmate?” He said curiously as he pinned the older man with his gaze, analysing and evaluating his appearance in kind. Jonathan looked uncomfortable under the sudden scrutiny but Edward could see that he was trying to force an air of nonchalance.

A few inches taller than himself, Jonathan was an intimidating figure since his slight height advantage was further emphasised by his almost-unhealthily thin frame. He may have been thin but Edward could clearly see how toned the small pieces of exposed flesh were and he suspected that Jonathan possessed a decent amount of wiry strength.

He had done his research on the illustrious Dr Crane and he knew the man was a genius in his chosen fields of study and that knowledge did make Edward relax a little since he knew that he could hold a decent conversation. There was no possibly way he could accept being linked to someone with an average intelligence. It was just unacceptable.

But he supposed he could work with a man with two doctorates in Psychology and Chemistry and an obviously keen criminal mind.

He cracked a wide grin in an attempt to cover the various emotions which were coursing through him. “Could be worse.” He quipped.

“Thank you for that stellar review of my person.” Jonathan replied haughtily.

Sighing as he resigned himself to the fate which the universe seemed to have forced on him, Jonathan moved to stand directly in front of Edward.

Edward, to his advantage, held his ground as the other man approached and leaned down so that their faces were inches apart.

“So Edward,” Jonathan spoke sweetly as he gazed piercingly into his eyes, “since destiny has decreed that you and I are going to be seeing a lot more of each other than either of us were expecting I suppose we should get to know each other better.”

In such a close proximity, he could feel his attraction to the younger man increase, another noted side-affect of the soulmate link.

 _He wasn't wrong_ , he mused to himself, _it definitely could be worse._

Eyes narrowing a little in suspicion but refusing to back down, Edward replied. “Nothing is as cruel as fate it seems. What would you like to know?”

For a split second he had been under the impression that Jonathan was going to kiss him and he was surprised to find himself a tiny bit disappointed that he had not.

Jonathan smirked as he watched Edwards' eyes dilate before moving so their lips gently brushed together as he leaned in further to whisper directly into the younger mans' ear, “Tell me, what is your greatest fear?”

 


End file.
